PCE Club - 125th Monthly Event - Roundtable discussion: If your child could be young once a

第一百二十五期活动

2014年4月12日

圆桌座谈会 � 如果能重来一次,我会如何教育我的孩子？

孩子的成长只有一次, 为人父母也只要一次机会。孩子在带给我们的快乐的同时, 也带给了无数的挑战。您会对孩子�怎么还不开窍�感到焦虑吗？您会对孩子的�不听话�感到束手无策吗？您在孩子教育的过程中有哪些疑问和困惑？您想听听其他家长在发现孩子天赋,兴趣, 因势利导方面的经验分享吗？您想与其他家长一起共同探索有效的沟通方式,建立良好的亲子关系的方法吗? 我们从其它家长所走过的弯路中有何借鉴？

应很多会员的要求, 在4月12日，俱乐部将举办以�如果能重来一次,我会如何教育我的孩子？�为主体的家长圆桌座谈会。我们邀请到几位有经验的家长来与大家分享他们养育孩子十几年来的经验与教训。他们各自有不同的人生经历，在教育孩子方面，也有迥异的方法和侧重点。希望您带着您的问题，想法，故事和经验教训，参与我们4月12日家长圆桌座谈会。

主要内容包括：

商乐维先生：怎么样把目标放远，不盲目跟随，细心观察，发现自己孩子的天赋，兴趣，特性，因势利导，因人施教，制定符合自己孩子的IEP（individual education program)。以补充学校标准化教育（standardlized education) 的不足，让孩子在自己所长，兴趣所在的领域有所突破，增强自信心。这样孩子会学得愉快，你也会事半功倍。

刘向群女士：在信心上培养耐心： 如果重来一回，我会要求自己耐心更耐心一点。耐心的等待孩子开窍的时机。 孩子们在文字，数学，体育，思维上开窍的时间有早有晚， 每个孩子都不一样。急不得， 比不得。在开窍前硬教，不但效果不好，还可能把孩子真正的内动力消减掉。 让孩子失去了�嗨， 原来我挺行的� 这种最可贵的信心 和因此举一反三的能力。而耐心的关键在于信任， 或者说信心。相信孩子会很优秀， 很努力，很关爱，很上进。�Kids do well if they can". 天生我才必有用。如果我们想到的远一点， 长一点， 有坚定的信心和把握， 就容易有信心。

陆蓓女士：两个孩子已经是大学二年级学生，他们懂事， 积极， 努力和自信。回想起来我们做父母的对他们做人方面的要求， 学习上的督促，以及提供的宽松和谐的家庭环境起到了正面的作用。 我们希望他们首先要成为善良的人，尊重他人的人，然后努力学习，努力玩耍。

廖冰女士：我们的确需要挑战，并学会放手; 要让他们学会承担责任和后果，同时给予他们无条件的爱和道义上的支持；并以开明的态度给予真正的同情和理解而不是放任自流或牺牲个人诚信与人格。不要比赛！过一种平衡的生活，选择最适合于自己的大学比选择可去的最好的大学要好得多！

魏来女士：认为引导孩子存有感恩之心，是他们快乐的基石；养成孩子尊重他人的品质，远比学校成绩重要；教会孩子在不平衡中寻找平衡点。

时间: 2014年4月12日星期六，傍晚 6点30至9点（6:30-7:00 为小孩才艺表演时间，欢迎您的孩子表演他们的才艺，请预先注册、请准时。)

地点: 三彩藝術學院

地址: 802 US 1 North, Edison, NJ 08817 (Edison金门超市对面向南一点，1号路北向过Audi车行，在Standard Tile同一个停车场)

费用：会员免费；非会员＄12每家庭（场地费用）

活动组织者: 杨倩，高春桦, 黄敏

联系人：刘轶敏(***-***-7816, amyliuCPA@yahoo.com)，徐蕾(***-***-4290,lxu2005@gmail.com)，徐明(***-***-8007，mingxuhomes@yahoo.com)

讲员简介：

商乐维，关注教育，对中美文化差异及影响很有兴趣，有时写一些孩子教育方面的文章与朋友交流。在中国做过初中语文老师，大学化学老师。在美国做过大学数学老师，化学助教。现任华夏爱迪生中文学校八年级中文老师。

刘向群 (Sandra Liu)，对子女教育有较深的感悟，经常活跃于俱乐部的网上论坛。3个女儿，14， 12 和6岁。

陆蓓， 有一对双胞胎男孩， 重视对孩子的培养教育， 曾积极参加中文学校的活动。

廖冰，从2002年开始创办非营利英华语言学校，推广《马立平中文》教学。2004年成立�英华在北京�语言与领导能力暑期班，并担任新州父母子女教育俱乐部总顾问，着重于儿童及青少年情商开发与培养，增进父母与子女的交流。在教育事业上历时十多年的研发和奋斗，使廖冰积攒了丰富的儿童及青少年教育经验，为新洲华人父母如何教子提供了无数宝贵的建议，开阔了人们的眼界，改变了父母认识问题的角度。有两个已上大学的孩子。

魏来：NOEC中文学校创建人。两个女儿，一个大学三年级，一个今年上大学。

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The PCE Club presents the 125th Monthly Event:

04/12/2014

Roundtable discussion: If your child could be young once again, what would you have done differently?

Each person only has one childhood, we only have one chance to be a parent. Children bring us joy, but also brought numerous challenges. Maybe you are worried or even anxious about �why my kid is still not �waking up��; maybe you feel helpless when your kid is �disobedient� or even �challenge your authority�; maybe you have some questions or doubt about some of your parenting methods; maybe you are interested in learning �how to nature your child�s talent and interest?�; maybe you want to explore effective ways to communicate with your child; maybe you would like to learn from other parents� lessons learned.

To explore the answers, in April 12, the club will have a roundtable discussion with theme of "If your child could be young once again, what would you have done differently?� We invited several experienced parents to share with us their over ten years of child-rearing experience and lessons learned. They each have different life experiences and background, and different parenting focus and approach. Bring your questions, thoughts, stories, lessons and participate in our April 12 roundtable discussion.

Main topics include:

Lewei Shang: How can we parent focus more on long term goal, never blindly copy others, in stead, watch carefully, discover our child's talent and specialty, create an IEP ( individualized education plan) that leverages our child's specialties. This way, family education can supplement standardized education at school. Let our children have breakthrough in the areas that they are passionate about, in turn, improve their self confidence. Kids can learn happily and we will feel achieving effortlessly. :

Sandra Liu: Be patient, seize the opportunity to coach kids to have the sense of ownership of their own achievement/breakthrough. Each kid develops in his/her own pace. It is never a good idea to push a kid in any aspect before he/she is ready in that particular area. Not only would it be ineffective, which in turn, would waste a lot of time/energy of the parents and drive the "emotional bank" low; but also, it could potentially harm the kid's sense of mastery, and therefore lead to the lack of confidence to breakthrough in other areas of life. If we trust that every kid is designed to thrive, if we trust that "kids do well if they can", if we anchor our belief with some solid evidences, we would be able to stay patient and wait in quietness.

Bei Lu: Now my two sons are sophomores attending colleges. They are respecting, caring, hardworking and confident, seemly just as we wished for. Maybe the disciplines, the love, the communications played a role in their growth. As parents, we certainly hope so. Our next mission is to guide them to choose what they are passionate about so to live happily with full potential.

Bonnie Liao: we do need to "pick the battles" and learn to let go. Let them take up the responsibilities and deal with the consequences while providing unconditional love and moral support. Be open-minded and empathetic without being permissive or compromising personal integrity and character. Do not race! Have a balanced life as going to the RIGHT college is much better than going to the BEST college the kid could get in.

Weilai Fong: I am the founder of NOEC Learning Center, a Chinese language and culture school in central Jersey. I have two daughters, one of whom has attended college, the other one is graduating the high school. I believe that the art of raising children with an attitude of gratitude is one of the most important keys to their happiness. I believe that encouraging children to be respectful is more important than achieving good school grades. I also believe that achieving balance in an unbalanced world is doable.

When: April 12, 2014 Saturday, from 6:30 to 9 pm (6:30-7 pm: Children�s Talent Show; 7-9 pm: presentation, childcare available)

Where: San Cai Arts Academy

802 US 1 North, Edison, NJ 08817 (On Route 1 North across the street from Kam Man Supermarket; in the same parking lot as the store �Standard Tile� north of Audi Dealer)

Fees: Free for PCE club members. $12 per non-member family

Event Organizer: Qian Yang, Tracy Gao and Min Huang

Contact: Amy Liu (***-***-7816, amyliuCPA@yahoo.com, Ming Xu( ***-***-8007)， Lei Xu (***-***-4290,lxu2005@gmail.com)